One of the most common myths about long-term relationships is that excitement is only for the beginning of a relationship. It’s the “zsa zsa zsu” that we talk about, the butterflies, and the spark. But that spark will inevitably dim down and simmer, and perhaps even sizzle out altogether and disappear.
WHY SPARKS STOP FLYING
Couples will cite countless reasons for their fire dying. Usually these reasons cluster around not having enough time to spend together. Less time together leads to a loss of intimacy, and in turn couple lose the sense of togetherness. The loss of attraction leads to decreased communication, starting off a cycle of negativity that becomes one of frustration and further distance.
Being married for year and a half and knowing Abhi for more than two years now, I feel keeping the spark alive is possible. But it takes more than just scheduling a date or two to make real, lasting change in a relationship.
If you want to know how we first met, read here
I am lucky to say that mine and Abhi’s relationship is special. It’s filled with mutual admiration and happiness, and, most importantly, love. And I feel utterly blessed. Abhi is my sun, my moon and my stars; my whole world. He is my very greatest supporter and the one who can make me smile at just the thought of him.
But that’s not to say that everything is perfect one-hundred percent of the time. Life can get in the way. Jobs can get in the way. Schedules can get in the way. Stress can get in the way. But Abhi and I always manage to get away for frequent vacations for the much-needed time together. It is exactly what we need in life – a little adventure together.
So I thought it might be fun to share how we keep the spark alive in our relationship.
WE SHARE OUR FEELINGS OPENLY
We talk. We talk a lot. We tell each other everything. From how our days were to what we ate to how we feel about one another. And if one of us wants something from the other, we are not scared to share it openly and genuinely listen to one another. It’s really freeing to feel so honest and open and not scared of how the other will react. No games, no fakes, just honesty.
WE PUT OUR RELATIONSHIP BEFORE OURSELVES
Love is unselfish. And we are utterly loyal to one another and consider each other when making every single decision. Abhi and I have never gone off on our own and planned, say, a trip, without talking to the other first. We make even the smallest of decisions together. He is so thoughtful and it’s the small acts like these that make a world of difference.
WE FIND THINGS TO DO TOGETHER
Abhi loves to watch cricket, I love to shop. But that doesn’t mean we do these things on our own. If Abhi wants to watch the match, I will make snacks and watch the match with him. And Abhi is always more than willing to head to the mall with me and offers to hold my bags while he gives genuine input on what I am trying on (even when I know he is bored). We do things for one another that we know will make the other happy. But we also like to find things we both enjoy that we can do together. Like cooking together on Sunday’s, hiking, and watching movies on weekends, gardening and watching our favorite shows in the evenings. It’s all about togetherness.
WE TAKE OUT TIME FOR EACH OTHER
If Abhi has to work late a few days, he will make it a point to leave early on another day just to take me on a date or head out for a sunset hike. And when he walks in the door, no matter what I am working on I put it down to say hi and spend some quality time together. He never fails to ask how my day went and tries to help me in the household chores too. I wake up every morning suuuuperr early just to make him breakfast and enjoy morning tea together before he heads off to work. Any time we spend together is time well spent.
WE KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP BALANCED
Neither one of us has more power in the relationship than the other. When I look at him I have stars in my eyes and there’s not a nerve in my body that would ever want to take advantage of him or his unrelenting kindness. And I know I can say the same for him. I think it’s important to have balance in your relationship and mutual respect.
I wrote this post on a whim because just looking at these lovey-dovey photos with my handsome hubby makes me swoon. And I love seeing the attention on him. He’s such a madcap and my favorite person in the whole wide world.
What do you guys do to keep the spark alive in your relationship? We would love to hear and swap ideas!